The writing I never get to...

When I was growing up, I was so bursting with strange ideas and weird notions I couldn't share that I had to turn to writing. It was my comfort and my escapism from the world I couldn't understand and that didn't seem to understand me. I used to write and doodle absurd little stories as my mind wandered all day long and some were so strong, they persist in me to this day. 

As I grew older and sought more understanding, I found myself attached to the thoughts, ideas and stories of others. Maybe it was dramatic anime I was watching or wonderful lyrics I heard somewhere or even a quote I see online, I found a bit of that same comfort from confirming old truths or excitement from new truths. My escapism in this period came in many forms related and unrelated to my fervent search for understanding led me to both places good and bad.

However, mixing this search with my own life experiences, I am realizing lately that I have become less ambitious about my own life since my younger days. My ideas no longer seem my own as I make a Facebook post and often times, I rely far too much on memes and pictures. Although my opinions are usually well-informed, my passions became about recycling thoughts I put together and left me unfulfilled.

This has all been coming about as I spend more and more time with my girlfriend, watching her creative and professional processes. Something in our time getting to know each other and watching her struggle has begun to awaken things in my mind. I have also begun to notice this creative struggle in other people almost all the time.

And now, I find myself pushing forward in my own familiar struggle to create. While it's much harder than arguing with randoms on places like Facebook or Kotaku, it just feels right.

So here, I go.